We’re not idiots — we don’t do unhelpful things with the intent to harm ourselves, for the most part. We do them because the unhelpful habit is meeting some need.
The need might be something like:
- I’m bored and want a dopamine hit
- I feel bad about myself and want to do something pleasurable to take my mind off it
- I feel awkward in social situations and need a distraction
- I’m stressed and need a coping mechanism
You can see that these reasons are usually coping with something uncomfortable or stressful.
This is important to understand, because if you just stop doing the compulsive habit, you have removed your coping mechanism without finding another way to meet your need.
What can you do to replace the compulsive habit, so that you can still meet your need? For quitting smoking, I tried meditation, running, pushups, journaling, massaging my shoulders, breathing, talking to people. You might try these or other ideas and see what helps you.